The Global Warming Medicine Show

by Garry Reed

"Climate alarmists pose real threat to freedom" – The Australian, March 12, 2008

"NYC Climate Conference Further Debunks 'Consensus' Claims" – Hawaii Reporter, March 13, 2008

"Weather Channel Founder: Sue Al Gore for Fraud" – Fox News, March 14, 2008

Global warming and cooling, according to our more down-to-earth earth sciences scientists, seem to occur in 1500-year cycles. People's lifespans, something like 35 years or so for century after century before capitalism came along and, much to the chagrin of lefty hollowhead Marxist anti-capitalists who still blindly deny it, extended the average life expectancy out to 70 or 80 years or so, was just too short for people grubbing in the ground for their grub in the form of grub worms to take much notice of these great climate shifts.

Today it seems that we are living in one of those 1500-year transition periods. The last cold period, known to climatologists and historians (but not to the mass population of the Earth who refuse to read history) as the Little Ice Age, ended sometime around the year 1850. In Geologic Years, that was just a New York second ago.

So, what causes an ice age, even a "little" one, to end? Could it be a general warming trend? The Little Ice Age, as those aforementioned climatologists and historians know, was preceded by a warm spell called the Medieval Warm Period, and will now be followed by another warm spell, one that faithful anti-libertarian post-postmodern envirozealots have dubbed Global Warming.

This is just the earth's all-natural roller coaster ride; warm to cold to warm to cold, ad infinitum. Why do people like climatologists and politicians and airhead Hollywood camera fodder insist that this particular warming cycle, unlike all of the warming cycles throughout the history of the planet up until now, is caused by human activity? Could it be that politicians are doing what politicians have always done - grubbing for money, power and ego enlargement by claiming so? That climatologists who rely on taxpayer-funded subsidies doled out by those same grubby politicians are grubbing in the system for the academic version of money, power and ego enlargement? That airhead Hollywoodpeckerheads who emote for a living just don't know any better?

Based on history (that stuff people hate to read), the planet will warm or cool until it determines its own equilibrium with neither help nor hindrance from the self-serving Global Warmingcrats and then level off for 1500 years or so. What we call "catastrophic" will be "normal" to our great grandkids, who will ask their teachers "What was all that hysteria back in the Olden Days about Global Warming?" And if our great grand offspring and their teachers are living in a libertarian society where teachers are free to tell the truth rather than culturally coerced into parroting government scripted propaganda, the answer will be, "Global Warming was politicized by people addicted to money, power and ego, or were Hollywoodpeckerheads. Next question."

Of course, it's always possible that our progeny will be forced to deal with their own snake oil peddlers:

"We Social and Political Geniuses must impose ever-escalating taxation on all you lesser human grub worms so we can stop the manmade volcanoes and the manmade tsunamis and the manmade lightening strikes and the manmade continental drift that causes manmade earthquakes and the manmade axis tilt that makes Earth wobble in its orbit and causes variations in the weather. You grub worms must make these sacrifices even as we continue to enjoy our limos and Learjets and lakeside lodges. If you don't, we will all die!"

The worst thing that could happen for the money-power-ego crowd would be a manmade Global Normal Period, which would not be manmade, of course, but merely that natural little New York second between the 1500-year hot and cold roller coaster rides.

What will our brilliant professional hucksters do then? Find real jobs?